[Jokes] NEW WORDS ADDED TO THE 2002 VERSION OF THE DICTIONARY
tim at timjenkins.co.uk
Wed Aug 28 16:56:36 BST 2002
ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb
success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.
BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a
deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of
noise, craps all over everything, and then leaves.
SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are
annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
The O.J. Simpson trials were a prime example.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT - An outside expert brought in to reduce
the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.
CAREER LIMITING MOVE (CLM) - Used among microserfs to describe
an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is
within earshot is a serious CLM.
ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere
are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems
they were designed to solve.
FLIGHT RISK - Used to describe employees who are suspected of
planning to leave the company or department soon.
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error
message "404-URL Not Found," meaning that the requested web page
could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him...he's
GENERICA - Features of the American landscape that are exactly
the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip
malls, subdivision. Used as in: "We were so lost in Generica, that
I forgot what city we were in!"
OHNO-SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a REAL BIG mistake.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of
an electronic device to get it to work again.
UMFRIEND - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed
intimate relationship, as in, "This is Dylan, my...um...um...friend."
BODY NAZI - Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who
look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.
IDEA HAMSTERS - People who always seem to have their idea generators
MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in
a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's
SITCOMS - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one
of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for "Single
Income, Two Children, and an Oppressive Mortgage."
STARTER MARRIAGE - A short-lived, first marriage that ends in divorce
with no kids, no property, and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY - A person who seem's to thrive on being stressed out
SWIPED OUT - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
ALPHA GEEK - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person
in an office or work group.
G.O.O.D. JOB - a "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people
take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit just as
soon as they are solvent again.
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATM's
everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal,
i.e., "We owe $8.00 each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food
Stagering home the headlights throw a shadow up and upon
Friends and Love one that have done no wrong
But no longer mean anything to me
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.384 / Virus Database: 216 - Release Date: 21/08/2002
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
More information about the Jokes