[Jokes] real life calls
McKenna, Chris (RDSSW)
chris.mckenna at defra.gsi.gov.uk
Thu Sep 19 10:10:30 BST 2002
Real Life Calls
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about"
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I
need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack
before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling
Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel
to the other side of the car?".
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?".
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B'fell
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven?. Are you sure?".
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland".
Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please".
Operator: "Where are you calling from?"
Caller: "The living room".
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box
told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the
window to write the number on".
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the 'OK' button displayed?".
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?".
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file
Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?".
Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free".
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't Get through
to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
Caller: "I would like to borrow £2,000 please".
Operator: "Certainly, sir. Over how long?".
Caller: "Three years, please".
Operator: "OK, sir. That will be £75 per month for 36 months. Is that
Caller: "No, not at all. I want it all at once!"
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