[Jokes] a daschund, a leopard and a monkey...

[Chris McKenna]

A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She took her 
faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts 
chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is 
lost. So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his 
direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some 
bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the
bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, 
that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around 
here."

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of 
terror comes over him, and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the 
leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby 
tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for 
protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dachshund saw him 
heading after the leopard with great speed and figured that something must 
be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes 
a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made 
a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to 
happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and 
thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits 
down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them 
yet...just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says...

"Where's that damned monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me 
another leopard!"


"REMEMBER: IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, BAFFLE THEM WITH
BULL S***!"

-- 
Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.org
www.sucs.org/~cmckenna


The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery