[Jokes] Fw: If Men Truly Ran The World...
tim.jenkins at freeuk.com
Mon May 21 12:47:23 BST 2001
> - If Men Truly Ran The World
> If Men Truly Ran The World
> - Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds
> of conversation.
> - Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack
> on the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em
> next time" would pretty much do it.
> - Birth control would come in ale or lager.
> - Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th
> so it would only occur in leap years.
> - St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated every month.
> - Garbage would take itself out.
> - The only show opposite "Monday Night Football"
> would be "Monday Night Football from a Different
> Camera Angle."
> - Instead of "beer-belly," you'd get "beer-biceps."
> - Tanks would be far easier to rent.
> - Two words... "Ally McNaked."
> - When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck
> answer you responded with would actually reduce
> your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you
> were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling
> my beer all over the place." Cop :"Nice one, That's
> $10.00 off".
> - People would never talk about how fresh they felt.
> - Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.
Don't ask me what these are I don't know either
> - Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free
> cards per year.
> - The victors in any athletic competition would get
> to kill and eat the losers.
> - It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car,
> as long as you returned it the following day with a
> full tank of gas.
> - Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you
> could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand
> that said "You're #1!"
> - When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you
> during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the
> corner of the screen during a time-out.
> - Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed
> as an acceptable response to "I love you."
> - The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
> - "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night," would
> be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
Now that would be a cool one. Wonder if itll be a good excuse if I get bad
exam marks. I was pissed before
> - At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and
> you would jump out of your window and slide down
> the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car
> like Fred Flintstone.
Now that would be cool :)
> - Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?"
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