[Jokes] countries as football teams

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.swan.ac.uk
Tue Nov 27 20:29:12 GMT 2001

>An explanation of the main players in the current world crisis in terms
>can understand...
>USA: Man Utd - Utterly Arrogant and motivated by greed. If they suffer
>slightest injustice the whole world hears about it. Leader sees himself
>bit of a visionary, most see him as bit of a Tyrant.
>Al Qaeda: Leeds - Thugs who like to take out opponents behind the play.
>Capable of upsetting just about anyone. Leader is a paranoid nutter.
>UK: Aston Villa - Trying to move forward having been stuck in the past
>decades. Have a leader who loves the sound of his own voice, full of
>rhetoric whilst ducking the important issues.
>France: Ars*nal - Perennial bridesmaids. Have a huge armoury but Heavily
>criticized in the past for misfiring. More likely to bore you to death
>to be a real threat to anyone. Leader has a habit of turning a blind eye.
>Pakistan: Chelsea - Trying hard to be one of the big boys, but has upset
>large percentage of it's supporter base through its over involvement with
>Could soon experience a revolt within its own ranks.
>The Taliban: Liverpool - Strict disciplinarians where members are
>as much by what they wear and do as who they are. Leadership suffered a
>a shock recently but clinging to life and always hard to beat at home.
>much a bloke's team.
>India: Sunderland - A sleeping giant, not a contender at the moment but
>a huge supporter base. Likes to think it's opinion is worth plenty, yet
>largely ignored by non fans. Local derbies can be a bit fiery.
>The Northern Alliance: West Ham - An undisciplined rabble in need of
>sponsorship dollars.
>Israel: Tottenham - Rabid supporters tucked away everywhere and usually
>become vocal when they start winning. See themselves as the chosen but in
>reality suffer from an over inflated sense of self. Local transport can
be a
>bit dodgy.
>Palestine: Fulham - A team currently looking for a home, had been on the
>periphery for many years before the mid 90s. Not regarded as a big
>but has a strong youth policy. Funded by rich Arabs.
>Japan: Everton - No attack, last campaign of any note 1942. Big player
>financially in the 1980s, however struggling a bit these days.
>Iraq: Millwall - Serious hard arses who could be on the way back.
>prefer to see them out of the Premiership. Most of their neighbours hate
>them, they know it, and they don't care.
>Russia: - Newcastle - Once a great superpower, recently in decay. Have
>chosen some real muppets as leaders.
>Uzbekistan: Leicester - Stuck in the middle. Has a bit of an ars*hole but
>light on ammunition.
>Germany: Wolves - Tendency to self destruct. A strong history but off the
>scene of late. Unfortunate uniforms.
>Australia: Southampton - Completely harmless. Not a contender. Just in it
>make up the numbers. Supporters are loyal but regularly embarrassed.
>Egypt: Derby - Had a crack at world dominance and though the remnants are
>still there they hark back to the glory days. A bit over defensive and
>up the middle.
>Please note that no country can be associated with Middlesborough. The
>closest thing was Lebanon but apparently certain parts of war torn Beirut
>bordering on pleasant.

Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.swan.ac.uk
awkward at gmx.co.uk

The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery

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