[Jokes] countries as football teams

[Chris McKenna]

>An explanation of the main players in the current world crisis in terms
we
>can understand...
>
>USA: Man Utd - Utterly Arrogant and motivated by greed. If they suffer
the
>slightest injustice the whole world hears about it. Leader sees himself
as
>bit of a visionary, most see him as bit of a Tyrant.
>
>Al Qaeda: Leeds - Thugs who like to take out opponents behind the play.
>Capable of upsetting just about anyone. Leader is a paranoid nutter.
>
>UK: Aston Villa - Trying to move forward having been stuck in the past
for
>decades. Have a leader who loves the sound of his own voice, full of
>rhetoric whilst ducking the important issues.
>
>France: Ars*nal - Perennial bridesmaids. Have a huge armoury but Heavily
>criticized in the past for misfiring. More likely to bore you to death
than
>to be a real threat to anyone. Leader has a habit of turning a blind eye.
>
>Pakistan: Chelsea - Trying hard to be one of the big boys, but has upset
a
>large percentage of it's supporter base through its over involvement with
>foreigners.
>Could soon experience a revolt within its own ranks.
>
>The Taliban: Liverpool - Strict disciplinarians where members are
measured
>as much by what they wear and do as who they are. Leadership suffered a
bit
>of
>a shock recently but clinging to life and always hard to beat at home.
Very
>much a bloke's team.
>
>India: Sunderland - A sleeping giant, not a contender at the moment but
with
>a huge supporter base. Likes to think it's opinion is worth plenty, yet
is
>largely ignored by non fans. Local derbies can be a bit fiery.
>
>The Northern Alliance: West Ham - An undisciplined rabble in need of
>sponsorship dollars.
>
>Israel: Tottenham - Rabid supporters tucked away everywhere and usually
only
>become vocal when they start winning. See themselves as the chosen but in
>reality suffer from an over inflated sense of self. Local transport can
be a
>bit dodgy.
>
>Palestine: Fulham - A team currently looking for a home, had been on the
>periphery for many years before the mid 90s. Not regarded as a big
contender
>but has a strong youth policy. Funded by rich Arabs.
>
>Japan: Everton - No attack, last campaign of any note 1942. Big player
>financially in the 1980s, however struggling a bit these days.
>
>Iraq: Millwall - Serious hard arses who could be on the way back.
Opponents
>prefer to see them out of the Premiership. Most of their neighbours hate
>them, they know it, and they don't care.
>
>Russia: - Newcastle - Once a great superpower, recently in decay. Have
>chosen some real muppets as leaders.
>
>Uzbekistan: Leicester - Stuck in the middle. Has a bit of an ars*hole but
>light on ammunition.
>
>Germany: Wolves - Tendency to self destruct. A strong history but off the
>scene of late. Unfortunate uniforms.
>
>Australia: Southampton - Completely harmless. Not a contender. Just in it
to
>make up the numbers. Supporters are loyal but regularly embarrassed.
>
>Egypt: Derby - Had a crack at world dominance and though the remnants are
>still there they hark back to the glory days. A bit over defensive and
>vulnerable
>up the middle.
>
>Please note that no country can be associated with Middlesborough. The
>closest thing was Lebanon but apparently certain parts of war torn Beirut
>are
>bordering on pleasant.
>

-- 
Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.swan.ac.uk
awkward at gmx.co.uk
www.sucs.swan.ac.uk/~cmckenna


The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery