[Jokes] a few short jokes

[Chris McKenna]

What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One fcuked the miners, the other fcuked the Majors 

Q. Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?
A. Have you ever tried to iron a monster?

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Devil Worshipper?
A: He sold his soul to Santa. 

A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette she 
says, "I have no idea what number to play."
A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her age.
Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 32.
The wheel is spun, and 41 comes up.
The smile drifted from the woman's face and she fainted.

"Here at First National, you're not just a number - you're two numbers, a 
dash, three more numbers, another dash, and another number." --Unknown

A guy gets shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he`s on a beach. The sand is 
purple. He can`t believe it. The sky is purple. He walks around a bit and 
sees that there is purple grass, purple birds and purple fruit on the 
purple trees. He`s shocked when he finds that his skin is starting to turn 
purple too.
"Oh no!!" he says, "I think I`ve been marooned!!"

Overheard at the Community Soccer game:
First mother: "What position does your son play on the team?"
Second mum: "I'm not sure. I think he's one of the drawbacks."

"I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young 
man said to the directory enquiries operator.
"There are multiple listings for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," 
the operator said. "Do you have a street name?"
The young man hesitated a moment, "Well, uh, most people call me Bubba."