[Jokes] Texan

[Chris McKenna]

-- 
Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.swan.ac.uk
awkward at gmx.co.uk
www.sucs.swan.ac.uk/~cmckenna


The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery


---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 22:12:13 +0100
From: Ria Peters <riapeters at wanadoo.nl>
Reply-To: ttforumfriends at yahoogroups.com
To: ttforumfriends at yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [TTFF] jokey time again ( jus wan moor)

Just in case the EU decide upon American Engish rather than UK English a few
excerpts from the Texas Dictionary of the English Language.

(courtesy of Jim Everhart)
Yawl the pronoun of the second person plural
Example: "Good to see yawl"

Ward a unit of language consisting of one or more spoken sounds
Example: "Pardon me, could ah have a ward with yawl"

Lahr a prevaricator; one who tells lies.
Example: "Are yew callin' me a lahr?"

Waht the lightest of colours
Example: "Yew look waht as a sheet"

Riot correct or proper
Example: "That's as riot as rain"

Often so as to be no longer supported or attached
Example: "Now stan still so ah can shoot that apple often yore had"

Barley only, just, no more that.
Example: "Ah can jes barley opne mah eyes"

Blond without sight
Example: "Love is blond"

Lacked was on the verge of or came close to
Example: "Ah lacked to died laughin"

Main of ugly disposition, nasty
Example: "That there is one main man"

Felons a substance used to close the cavities in teeth
Example: "When ah open mah mouth real wad yawl can see mah two felons"

Thowed to cause someone or something to go someplace as if by hurling
Example: "Ah'm gonna have yawl thowed in jail"

Rum a portion of space within a building
Example: "Ah got to go to the restrum"

Cheer in this place or spot
Example: "Yawl come riot cheer this minute"

Lard the deity
Example: "Lard only knows what happened"

Beggar larger as in size, height, width, amount etc.
Example: "The beggar they come the harder they fall"

Thang a material object without life or conciousness
Example: "That don't main a thang"

Prior a devout petition to an object of worship.
Example: "Don't never say a prior with your hat on"

Suede dear, beloved, precious.
Example: "Ain't that jes too suede for wards?"

Larry wary, suspicious.
Example: "Ah would be larry of that if ah was yew"

Prod a high opinion of one's own dignity, importance etc.
Example: "Ah take prod in mah work"

Far to discharge a firearm
Example: "Stop or ah'm gonna far"

Tarred exhausted.
Example: "Boy, am ah tarred!"

They the objective and dative case of thou
Example: "Mah country tis of they, suede land of liberty of they ah sang.."

Hem objective case of he.
Example: "Ah drawed mah gun on hem"

Owe an overwelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear etc.
Example: "That there is one ah stand in owe of"

Thote the passage in the neck from the mouth to the stomach
Example: "Ah got a sore thote"

Sighting arousing or stirring up emotions.
Example: "That was one beg, sighting card game"

Heidi an expression of greeting.
Example: "Heidi, neighbor"

Sect afficted with ill health or disease.
Example: "Ah feel sect to mah stomach"

Smahl to assume a facial expression indicating pleasure.
Example: "Smahl and the whole world smahls with yew"

Consarned interested or participating.
Example: "Yawl ain't consarned in this no way"

Harket going to the barber.
Example: "Mah hat never fits after ah get a harket"

Drank any liquid taken into the mouth and swallowed.
Example: "How 'bout a lil drank?"

Squire honest and above board.
Example: "Everything here is fire and squire"

Ails other than the person or things implied.
Example: "Ah only done what anybody ails would do"

Fair a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil etc.
Example: "The only thang we have to fair is fair itsef"

Tom any specific point in a day, a month, a year.
Example: "How come yawl ain't never on tom?"

Air the organ of hearing in man.
Example: "Ah got a airache"

Truss reliance on integrity.
Example: "Don't yawl truss me?"

Mere a reflecting surface.
Example: "Ah jes hate to look at mahsef in the mere"

Hep to render assistance.
Example: "Ain't nobody gonna hep me?"

Rang to twist forcibly.
Example: "Ah'm gonna rang yore neck"

Farfanger the first finger next to the thumb.
Example: "Ah'm holdin' mah nose 'twixt mah thumb an farfinger"

Markin a citizen of the United States.
Example: "Ah am a Markin"






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