[Jokes] Nineteen views (fwd)

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Tue Jun 25 21:01:46 BST 2002

Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.swan.ac.uk
awkward at gmx.co.uk

The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, 25 Jun 2002 20:39:54 +0100
Subject: [TTFF] Nineteen views

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on 
the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has 
not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would 
be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never 
want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, 
decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His 
messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual 
who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that 
individual is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling 
reason why we observe daylight savings time.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests 
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging 
from her at that moment.

15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make 
a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, 
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, 
we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy 
people who are not in them.

18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice 
person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

19. Your friends love you anyway.

John and Sandy Colby

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