[Jokes] FW: Just read this

[Robert Grant]

>   >   Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Here's
a
> > >   prime example offered by an English professor at an American
> University.
> >
> >  >
> >  >   "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
> >  >   The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person
> >  >   sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write
> the
> >  >   first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the
> >  >   first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The
> first
> >  >   person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.
> >  >   Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to
keep
> >  >   the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and
> anything
> >  >   you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over
when
> >  >   both agree a conclusion has been reached."
> >  >   The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
> >  >   Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
> >  >
> >  >
> >  >   ----------------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   STORY:
> >  >   (first paragraph by Rebecca)
> >  >   At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> >  >   chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
> >  >   now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
> >  >   that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs,
> keep
> >  >   her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she
> >  >   thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So
> >  >   chamomile was out of the question.
> >  >
> >  >   -----------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (second paragraph by Gary)
> >  >   Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
> >  >   squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to
> >  >   think about than the neuroses ofan air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
> >  >   Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
> >  >    "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,???*?? he said into his
transgalactic
> >  >   communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
> >  >   far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed
> >  >   out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay.
The
> >  >   jolt from the direct hit sent him flying outof his seat and across
> >  >   the cockpit.
> >  >
> >  >   ----------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (Rebecca)
> >  >   He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he
> felt
> >  >   one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman
> who
> >  >   had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
> >  >   pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon4.
> >  >    "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
> >  >   Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
> >  >   excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of
> >  >   her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with
> no
> >  >   newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense
> >  >   ofinnocent wonder at all the beautiful things round her.  "Why must
> >  >   one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
wistfully.
> >  >
> >  >   ---------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (Gary)
> >  >   Little did she know, but she had less than 10 secondsto live.
> >  >   Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
> launched
> >  >   the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted
> >  >   wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament
> Treaty
> >  >   through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the
> >  >   hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human
race.
> >  >   Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian
> >  >   ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
> >  >   pulverize the entire planet.  With no one to stop them, they
swiftly
> >  >   initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered
> >  >   the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile
> >  >   submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam,
> felt
> >  >   the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
> >  >   Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his
> fist
> >  >   on the conference table.  "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto
> >  >   that treaty!  Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
> >  >
> >  >   ----------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (Rebecca)
> >  >   This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> >  >   writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate
adolescent.
> >  >
> >  >   ----------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (Gary)
> >  >   Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts
> >  >   at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have
> >  >   chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh
> >  >   no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele
> >  >   novels."
> >  >
> >  >   ----------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (Rebecca)
> >  >   Asshole.
> >  >
> >  >   ----------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (Gary)
> >  >   Bitch.
> >  >
> >  >   --------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (Rebecca)
> >  >   DICK!
> >  >
> >  >   ---------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (Gary)
> >  >   Slut.
> >  >
> >  >   ---------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (Rebecca)
> >  >   Get fucked.
> >  >
> >  >   ----------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (Gary)
> >  >   Eat shit.
> >  >   ---------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (Rebecca)
> >  >   FUCK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
> >  >
> >  >   ----------------------------------------------------------
> >  >   (Gary)
> >  >   Go drink some tea - whore.
> >  >   **********************************************
> >  >   (teacher)
> >  >   A+ - I really liked this one.
> >  >
> >  >
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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