[Jokes] real life calls

McKenna, Chris (RDSSW) chris.mckenna at defra.gsi.gov.uk
Thu Sep 19 10:10:30 BST 2002

Real Life Calls 


Samsung Electronics 

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" 

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking   about" 

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that  I 
need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone  Jack 
before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?" 

Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall". 


RAC Motoring Services 

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am  travelling 
in Australia?". 

Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue? 


 Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel
to  the other side of the car?". 


Directory Enquiries 

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff,  please". 

Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?". 

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the  'B'fell 


Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. 

Operator: "Woven?. Are you sure?". 

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland". 


Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please". 

Operator: "Where are you calling from?" 

Caller: "The living room". 


On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone  box 
told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the 
window  to write the number on". 


Computer Capers 

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop". 

Customer: "OK". 

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?". 

Customer: "No". 

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?". 

Customer: "No". 

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this  point?". 

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'". 

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the 'OK' button displayed?". 

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?". 


Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file
back again?". 


 British Rail 

Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?". 

Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free". 


Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't Get   through 
to enquiries, can you help?". 

Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?". 

Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre". 

Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours". 


The Bank 

Caller: "I would like to borrow £2,000 please". 

Operator: "Certainly, sir. Over how long?". 

Caller: "Three years, please". 

Operator: "OK, sir. That will be £75 per month for 36 months. Is that

Caller: "No, not at all. I want it all at once!" 




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