[Jokes] Things Men Say
cf5_tim at yahoo.com
Sat Sep 28 12:11:06 BST 2002
Find out what men really mean when they say...
"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
stupid,and stand by
a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim
by in complete
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it,
and you have no chance at all of making it logical".
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS
ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is
wearing a bra."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the
the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle
numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will
bleed to death
before I admit that I'm hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just
said, and am hoping
desperately that I can fake it well enough so that
you don't spend the
next three days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and
realize it could be
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK"
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
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