[Jokes] Things Men Say

[Tim Jenkins]

 Find out what men really mean when they say... 
 
 "I'M GOING FISHING" 
 Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
stupid,and stand by 
 a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim
by in complete 
 safety." 
 
 "IT'S A GUY THING" 
 Means: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, 
 and you have no chance at all of making it logical". 
 
 "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" 
 Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?" 
 
 "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..." 
 Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response. 
 
 "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" 
 Means: "I have no idea how it works." 
 
 "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS
ON MY MIND." 
 Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is
wearing a bra." 
 
 "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD". 
 Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum
cleaner." 
 
 "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." 
 Means: "Are you still talking?" 
 
 "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." 
 Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the
address of 
 the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle
identification 
 numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot
your birthday." 
 
 "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE
ROSES". 
 Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great
tits." 
 
 "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG
DEAL." 
 Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will
bleed to death 
 before I admit that I'm hurt." 
 
 "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING". 
 Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

 
 "I CAN'T FIND IT." 
 Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so
I'm completely 
 clueless." 
 
 "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" 
 Means: "What did you catch me at?" 
 
 "I HEARD YOU." 
 Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just
said, and am hoping 
 desperately that I can fake it well enough so that
you don't spend the 
 next three days yelling at me." 
 
 "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE" 
 Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and
realize it could be 
worse." 
 
 "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC" 
 Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm
starving." 
 
 "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." 
 Means: "No one will ever see us alive again." 
 
 "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK" 
 Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

__________________________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
New DSL Internet Access from SBC & Yahoo!
http://sbc.yahoo.com