[Jokes] FW: [TTFF] Plea for sponsorship :-)
McKenna, Chris (RDSSW)
chris.mckenna at defra.gsi.gov.uk
Wed Jun 4 14:23:08 BST 2003
From: Sonia Hill [mailto:sonia.hill at tin.it]
Sent: 04 June 2003 13:47
To: ttforumfriends at yahoogroups.com
Subject: [TTFF] Plea for sponsorship :-)
Sponsor an Investment Banker
With redundancies at investment banks around the globe looming, now is the
time for us to show the world just how much we care.
It's just not right. Hundreds of investment bankers in your very own country
are living at or just below the seven-figure income level! Atrocious! And,
as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several
weeks - possibly a whole year - as a result of their redundancy.
But now you can help ! For about two thousand pounds a day - that's less
than the cost of a large screen projection TV - you can help an investment
banker remain economically viable during his time of need. Two thousand
pounds a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to an investment
banker it could mean the difference between a vacation spent golfing in
Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, two thousand pounds is nothing
more than three months rent or mortgage payments. But to an investment
banker, two thousand pounds a day will almost replace his pay.
Your commitment of two thousand pounds a day will enable an investment
banker to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old BMW for
a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
"HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?"
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the investment
banker you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, property,
and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home.
You'll also get information on how he plans to invest the $3 million lump
severance package he will receive upon outplacement.
Plus upon signing up for this program, you will receive a photo of your
investment banker. Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other
"HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?"
Your investment banker will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just
wants to help in a time of need. Although the investment banker won't know
your name, he will be able to make reverse charge calls to your home via a
special operator just in case additional funds are needed for unexpected
Simply fill out the form below:
__YES, I want to help!
I would like to sponsor a redundant investment banker. My preference is
[ ] Research analyst
[ ] M&A specialist
[ ] Trader*
[ ] Derivatives trader**
[ ] Entire emerging markets trading desk***
[ ] I'll sponsor an investment banker most in need.
Please select one for me.
* Higher cost
** Much higher cost
*** Please call our 0898 number to ask for the cost of a specific team
(Sorry, does not include secretaries).
Please charge the account listed below $2,054.79 per day for a research
analyst or M&A specialist for the next 3 months.
Please send me a picture of the investment banker I have sponsored, along
with my very own corporate logo baseball cap to wear proudly on my head.
[ ] MasterCard
[ ] Visa
[ ] American Express
[ ] DiscoverCard
[ ] Diner's Club
Your Name: __________________________
Telephone Number: __________________________
Card Number: __________________________
Mail completed form to any major investment banking firm or call 0898 666
666 now to enroll by phone. (Children under 18 must have parental approval.)
Note: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the investment banker they have
sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not limited to,
telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties.
Keep in mind that the investment banker you have sponsored will be much too
busy enjoying his free time, thanks to your generous donations.
Contributions are not tax-deductible.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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