[Jokes] Plain English, or lack thereof

[Peter Berry]

>From the Plain English Campaign newsletter:

As you may know, the Government used the Parliament Act this week to bring
the Hunting Bill into law. (The Parliament Act allows the House of Commons
to override the decisions of the House of Lords in certain circumstances.)
The complicated back-and-forth process of suggested amendments to the bill
ended in a particularly memorable exchange in the Commons.

Mr Speaker: I have to inform the House that a message has been brought
from the Lords as follows:

"The Lords insist on their amendments to the Hunting Bill, to which the
Commons have insisted on their disagreement, for which insistence they
assign their reasons. They insist on their amendments to which the Commons
have disagreed, for which insistence they assign their reasons, and they
disagree to the amendment proposed by the Commons in lieu of the Lords
amendments, for which disagreement they assign their reasons."

Honourable Members (shouting): Explain. 

Mr Speaker: I read these messages; I don't understand them. 

***

The Guardian has reprinted some of the past few years' best responses to
its Notes and Queries section. They included details of the following
intriguing signs spotted by readers.

* Printed on toilet paper tissues: 'Not for resale'

* On a door in a hotel: 'Room for shooting guests only'

* At the tip of Great Camanoe Island in the British Virgin Islands: 'No
trespassing without permission'

* Outside an abbey in Cumbria: 'Admission Free - Special terms for
parties'

-- 
Peter Berry
Treasurer, Swansea University Computer Society
<pwb at sucs.org>