[Jokes] The story of Rindercella (fwd)
cmckenna at sucs.org
Mon Dec 19 00:47:40 GMT 2005
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This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies.
Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though
god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not
one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much
for the whining herds. Try getting through it without
converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as
you read ...
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss
pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called
Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they
were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty
swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball,
but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother
appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light
rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into
a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge
hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella
to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome
hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all
chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out
tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on
Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly
, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart.
"Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that
fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking
brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both
the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome
hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he
had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The
pransome Hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and
Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny .
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