[Jokes] Bible Sales (not politically correct) (fwd)
cmckenna at sucs.org
Wed Mar 9 08:59:11 GMT 2005
---------- Forwarded message ----------
A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial
troubles. Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church store room, he
discovered several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and
distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the
congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each
to raise desperately needed money for the church.
Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The reverend knew that Peter and Paul earned their livings as salesmen and were
likely capable of selling some Bibles, but he had serious doubts about Louie
who was just a little local farmer who had always tended to keep to himself
because he was embarrassed by his speech
impediment. Poor little Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage
poor Louis, the reverend decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with
bibles and asked them to meet with him and report the results of their
door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
When they got together, the reverend immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how
did you make out selling our Bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "Pastor, using my
sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 collected on
behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Peter!" the reverend said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are
indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, he asked "And how many Bibles did you manage to sell for the
church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "Reverend, I am
a professional salesman and was happy to give the church the benefit of my
expertise. Last week I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280
The reverend responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a
professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the reverend turned to little Louie and said, "And Louie, did
you manage to sell any Bibles last week?"
Louie silently offered the reverend a large envelope. The reverend opened it
and counted the contents. "What is this?" the reverend exclaimed. "Louie,
there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the
church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louie just nodded.
"That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are professional
salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the reverend agreed. "Please explain how you
managed to accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for
sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what
you said to them when they answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you
l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-Bible f-f-for t-t-ten
b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to
st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read itt-to y-y-you?
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