[Jokes] Bible Sales (not politically correct) (fwd)

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Wed Mar 9 08:59:11 GMT 2005

---------- Forwarded message ----------

Bible Salesman

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial 
troubles. Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church store room, he 
discovered several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and 
distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the 
congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each 
to raise desperately needed money for the church.
Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The reverend knew that Peter and Paul earned their livings as salesmen and were 
likely capable of selling some Bibles, but he had serious doubts about Louie 
who was just a little local farmer who had always tended to keep to himself 
because he was embarrassed by his speech
impediment. Poor little Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage 
poor Louis, the reverend decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with 
bibles and asked them to meet with him and report the results of their 
door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

When they got together, the reverend immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how 
did you make out selling our Bibles last week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "Pastor, using my 
sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 collected on 
behalf of the church."

"Fine job, Peter!" the reverend said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are 
indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."

Turning to Paul, he asked "And how many Bibles did you manage to sell for the 
church last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "Reverend, I am 
a professional salesman and was happy to give the church the benefit of my 
expertise. Last week I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 
I collected."

The reverend responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a 
professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the reverend turned to little Louie and said, "And Louie, did 
you manage to sell any Bibles last week?"

Louie silently offered the reverend a large envelope. The reverend opened it 
and counted the contents. "What is this?" the reverend exclaimed. "Louie, 
there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the 
church, door to door, in just one week?"

Louie just nodded.

"That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are professional 
salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many as we could."

"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the reverend agreed. "Please explain how you 
managed to accomplish this, Louie."

Louie shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for 
sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what 
you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you 
l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-Bible f-f-for t-t-ten 
b-b-b-bucks  ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to 
st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read itt-to y-y-you?

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