[Jokes] Retirement Bonus (fwd)

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Wed Nov 2 00:30:53 GMT 2005

---------- Forwarded message ----------
     The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an
      early retirement bonus.  (Fancy the Navy ever finding it had "too many

     (But, to continue...)

     They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000
     for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in
     his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

     The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of
      his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet
     and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

    The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
     measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He
     walked out  with $96,000.

    The third one was a non officer grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he
    would like to be measured replied, "from the tip of my weenie to my

    It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to
    reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had
    received.  But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him,
    providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop'em,"
  which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the
   Chief's  weenie and began to work back.

  "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles"
   The old Chief calmly replied "Vietnam".

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