[Jokes] confessions of a travel agent (fwd)

[Chris McKenna]

---------- Forwarded message ----------
>
>  A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some  examples of why our
> country is in trouble!
>
>  1. I  had a New York Senator ask for an aisle seat so that her hair
> wouldn't  get messed up by being near the window.
>
>  2. I got a call  from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
> Capetown. I started to  explain the length of the flight and the
> passport information, then she  interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to
> make you look stupid, but  Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without
> trying to make her look stupid,  I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
> Massachusetts, Capetown is in  Africa,"
>  Her response - click.
>
>  3. A senior  Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
> package we did. I  asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
> He said he was  expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's
> not possible,  since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
>  He replied, "Don't  lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a
> very thin  state!"
>
>  4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked,  "Is it possible to
> see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said,  "But they look so
> close on the map."
>
>  5. An aide  for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could
> rent a car in  Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he
> had only a  1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to
> rent a car,  he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will
> need a car to  drive between gates to save time."
>
>  6. An Illinois  Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how
> it was possible  that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got
> to Chicago at 8:33  am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of
> Illinois, but she  couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
> Finally, I told her the  plane went fast, and she bought that.
>
>  7. A New York  lawmaker called and as ked, "Do airlines put your
> physical description  on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
> whom?"  I said,  "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I
> checked in with the  airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said
>  (FAT), and I'm  overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting
> her on hold for a  minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I
> came back and  explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the
> airline was  just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
>
>  8. A  Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii.
> After  going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to
> fly to  California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
>
>  9. I  just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
> "How do I  know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he
> meant, to  which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but
> none of  these planes have numbers on them."
>
>  10. A lady Senator  called and said, "I nee d to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
> Florida. Do I have to  get on one of those little computer planes?" I
> asked if she meant fly  to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She
> said, "Yeah,whatever,  smarty!"
>
>  11. A senior Senator from Mass called and had a  question about the
> documents he needed in order to fly to China. After  a lengthy
> discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a  visa. "Oh,
> no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to  have
>  one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay  required a
> visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to  China four
> times and every time they have accepted my American  Express!"
>
>  12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make  reservations, "I want
> to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at  a loss for words.
> Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the  town?"  Yes,
> what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After  some searching, I
> came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up  every airport code
> in the country and can't  find a Rhino  anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh,
don't be silly!
> Everyone knows where  it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the
> state of New York and  finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do
> you?" The reply?  "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal".
>
>  Now you know why  Government is in the shape that it's in!