[Jokes] If Jerusalem Had Report Card....... (fwd)

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Sun Apr 8 17:27:25 BST 2007

---------- Forwarded message ----------

Mid-term Report for Student: J. Christ

ARTS and CRAFTS: B Obviously has imagination and creativity; student is a good potter ... enjoys working with dirt and water.

COMMUNITY LIVING: A Very keen on all aspects of community.

CONSUMER EDUCATION: C+ Has interesting ideas about alternative lifestyles, if a bit impractical.

ENGLISH: D+ Understands all aspects of the language but insists on speaking only in parables and metaphors.

GENERAL SCIENCE: D Although his transmutation of water into wine was the talk of the school for weeks.

GEOGRAPHY: C- Keeps talking about the Rock of Ages instead of the ages of rock.

GRAPHIC ARTS: D Prefers to draw with a stick in the sand instead of pencil on paper.

HEALTH: A Shows a remarkable aptitude for first aid and knowledge of the human body.

HISTORY: A Excellent pupil of ancient history, especially religious history.

HOME ECONOMICS: A+ This kid really knows how to stretch a loaf of bread and a fish fillet!

MATHEMATICS: E Cannot seem to grasp fundamentals. Keeps going on about "The Father and I are One."

MUSIC and DRAMA: B+ A keen member of the school choir; at times can be frighteningly dramatic.

PHYSICAL EDUCATION: D- Student particularly upset the swim coach when he insisted on walking across the pool instead of doing the butterfly kick.

RELIGION: D When asked "Who made the world?" student persisted in answering "My Dad."

WOODWORKING: A Excellent carpentry. Obviously had help at home.

TEACHER'S SUMMARY This boy has a very unhealthy tendency to form gangs. He has organized twelve of his friends into a gang and is seen constantly in the company of publicans and sinners. He needs to be more selective in his choice of friends. Also, he should learn to keep his hair at a tidy length and not wear sandals with the school uniform.

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