[Jokes] How to prove that all odd numbers are prime

[Peter Berry]

from http://www.gdargaud.net/Humor/OddPrime.html ...

Mathematician:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and by induction we have that all 
the odd integers are prime.

Physicist:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is an experimental error...

Engineer:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime...

Chemist:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime... hey, let's publish!

Modern physicist using renormalization:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... 9/3 is prime, 11 is 
prime, 13 is prime, 15 is ... 15/3 is prime, 17 is prime, 19 is prime, 21 
is ... 21/3 is prime...

Quantum Physicist:
     All numbers are equally prime and non-prime until observed.

Professor:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and the rest are left as an 
exercise for the student.

Confused Undergraduate:
     Let p be any prime number larger than 2. Then p is not divisible by 2, 
so p is odd. QED

Measure nontheorist:
     There are exactly as many odd numbers as primes (Euclid, Cantor), and 
exactly one even prime (namely 2), so there must be exactly one odd 
nonprime (namely 1).

Cosmologist:
     3 is prime, yes it is true....

Computer Scientist:
     10 is prime, 11 is prime, 101 is prime...

Programmer:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 will be fixed in the next 
release, ...

C programmer:
     03 is prime, 05 is prime, 07 is prime, 09 is really 011 which everyone 
knows is prime, ...

BASIC programmer:
     What's a prime?

COBOL programmer:
     What's an odd number?

Windows programmer:
     3 is prime. Wait...

Mac programmer:
     Now why would anyone want to know about that? That's not user 
friendly. You don't worry about it, we'll take care of it for you.

Bill Gates:
     1. No one will ever need any more than 3.

ZX-81 Computer Programmer:
     3 is prime, Out of Memory.

Pentium owner:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 8.9999978 is prime...

GNU programmer:
     % prime
     usage: prime [-nV] [--quiet] [--silent] [--version] [-e script] 
--catenate --concatenate | c --create | d --diff --compare | r --append | 
t --list | u --update | x -extract --get [ --atime-preserve ] [ -b, 
--block-size N ] [ -B, --read-full-blocks ] [ -C, --directory DIR ] 
[--checkpoint ] [ -f, --file [HOSTNAME:]F ] [ --force-local ] [ -F, 
--info-script F --new-volume-script F ] [-G, --incremental ] [ -g, 
--listed-incremental F ] [ -h, --dereference ] [ -i, --ignore-zeros ] [ 
--ignore-failed-read ] [ -k, --keep-old-files ] [ -K, --starting-file F ] 
[ -l, --one-file-system ] [ -L, --tape-length N ] [ -m, 
--modification-time ] [ -M, --multi-volume ] [ -N, --after-date DATE, 
--newer DATE ] [ -o, --old-archive, --portability ] [ -O, --to-stdout ] [ 
-p, --same-permissions, --preserve-permissions ] [ -P, --absolute-paths ] 
[ --preserve ] [ -R, --record-number ] [ [-f script-file] 
[--expression=script] [--file=script-file] [file...]
     prime: you must specify exactly one of the r, c, t, x, or d options
     For more information, type "prime --help''

Unix programmer:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, ...
     Segmentation fault, Core dumped.

Computer programmer:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is 
prime, 9 is ...
     Oops, let's try that again:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 
is prime, 9 is ... 3 is ...
     Um, right. Okay, how about this:
     3 is not prime, 5 is not prime, 7 is not prime, 9 is not prime...
     So much for the beta releases. Ship this:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is a feature, 11 is prime...
     and put on the cover "More prime numbers than anyone else in the 
industry !"

Coming soon:
     3 is a prime, 4 is a feature, 5 is a prime, 6 is a feature, 7 is a 
prime, 8 is not yet implemented, 9 is our backwards compatibility module, 
...

Computational linguist:
     3 is an odd prime, 5 is an odd prime, 7 is an odd prime, 9 is a very 
odd prime, ...

Software tech support operator:
     Well, we haven't had any reports of composite odd numbers... do you 
have the latest version of ZFC?

Minesweeper addict
     1 is green, 2 is blue, 3 is orange, 4 is red...

Logician:
     Hypothesis: All odd numbers are prime
     Proof:

        1. If a proof exists, then the hypothesis must be true
        2. The proof exists; you're reading it now.

     From 1 and 2 follows that all odd numbers are prime

Linguist:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 aaah. I can make 9 a prime.

Philosopher:
     Why don't we just call all the odd numbers prime and call all the 
prime numbers odd, that way all the odd numbers would be prime

Philosopher (2):
     3 is prime. Hum, that's an interesting statement, I'll get one of my 
research students to look into that.

Economist:
     Assume 9 is prime...

Economist (2):
     2 is a prime, 4 is a prime.

Economist (3):
     2 is even, 4 is even, 6 is even...

Economist (4):
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime. Look, the prime 
rate is dropping.

Statistician:
     100% of the sample 5, 13, 37, 41 and 53 is prime, so all odd numbers 
must be prime.

Mechanical Statistician:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is an outlier, 11 is prime, 13 
is prime...

English major:
     What's a prime number ?

Politician:
     What's a number ?

Politician (2):
     It depends on what the meaning of is is.

Philosophy major:
     What is ?

Athletic scholarship:
     What !?

Mid-level manager:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is... Who can I delegate this 
to?

Lawyer:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, although there appears to be prima 
facie evidence that 9 is not prime, there exists substantial precedent to 
indicate that nine should be considered prime. The following brief 
presents the case for nine's primeness ...

Salesman:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and with 9 you get five excellent 
primes for the price of three !

Anthropologist:
     Prime or not, every number is unique. Take 9 for example...

Liberal:
     The fact that nine is not prime indicates a deprived cultural 
environment which can only be remedied by a federally funded cultural 
enrichment program.

Bush:
     What's nine got against being prime? I'll bet it won't allow the 
pledge of allegiance to be said in our schools either.

Nixon:
     Put nine on the enemies list. I'm gonna get that number.

New Yorker:
     3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... NONE OF YOUR DAMN 
BUSINESS!

rec.humor poster:
     3 is prime, 3 is prime, 3 is prime, 3 is prime


-- 
Peter Berry <pwb at sucs.org>
Please avoid sending me Word or PowerPoint attachments.
See http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/no-word-attachments.html