[Jokes] Words that don't exist but should

[Chris McKenna]

10 Words That Don't Exist (But Should!)
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the
bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of
running over a string or a piece of debris at least a dozen times,
reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down
to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilise the piece of sweet you
dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove'
all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one
armrest in a cinema.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto
the dustpan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally
decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open
here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the
'illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole
purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground
pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and
forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog
presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always
letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when
you're only six inches away.


-- 
Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.swan.ac.uk
awkward at gmx.co.uk
www.sucs.swan.ac.uk/~cmckenna


The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery