[Jokes] Cup Final

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.swan.ac.uk
Wed May 16 19:39:05 BST 2001

Police in Cardiff were today searching for a gang of 15 men believed to be
from the Liverpool area, after a valuable piece of antique silverware was
stolen from the Millennium Stadium. The silver was smuggled out of the
stadium in full view of almost 70,000 people following an unprovoked
attack on a party of elderly visitors from London.

The mugging took place late on Saturday afternoon as the pensioners from
North London were enjoying a stroll in the spring sunshine. A spokesman
for South Wales Police said "This was a particularly nasty and cowardly
assault. The attackers lulled the elderly gentlemen into a false sense of
security by standing around doing absolutely nothing for alost 80 minutes.
Then, just as the visitors were about to get back onto their coach and
return to the capital, the vicious young thugs struck!

Police are particularly interested in talking to one member of the gang
who is described as "young, dwarfish, with an annoying girlish smile; a
real Oliver Twist type". He is believed to be Welsh but adopts a Liverpool
accent and claims to be English. The gang, which includes several
political refugees and immigrants from Central Europe is led by a
French-speaking "Fagin". This man has no scruples. We believe he steals
most of his ideas from a near neighbour in Manchester, a man he much
admires. We have interviewed this man and although he is a former owner of
the silverware and also guilty of a similar crime himself in Barcelona
adopting similar methods some two years ago, he is above reproach".

There were fears that the gang had embarked on a crime spree in Europe
themselves. The police spokesman added "We have alerted Interpol and are
watching all ports but we fear they may have left the country. They were
overheard by witnesses talking about heading for Germany. We can only hope
they won't be back in Wales for a long time".

Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.swan.ac.uk
awkward at gmx.co.uk

The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery

More information about the Jokes mailing list