[Jokes] csa

[Justin Mitchell]

The following are all replies that women have put on English Child Support
Agency forms in the section for listing father's details:

1.   Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered
by [name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B,
but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2.   I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being
sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you
with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3.   I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
conceived at a party [address and date given] where I had unprotected sex
with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I
fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone
number? Thanks.

4.   I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW
That now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps
you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it
replaced.

6.   I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do
so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the
British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by my
country please advise.

7.   I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the
same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

8.   [name given] is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can
you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs ?

9.   From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney
maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for
sure is Delia Smith did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If
I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at
[address given] mine might have remained unfertilised.