[Jokes] Sports Commentators

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.swan.ac.uk
Fri May 25 17:19:37 BST 2001

Here's some amusing Sports commentator detail for you:

"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria....I saw her snatch this morning and it
was amazing." - (Pat Glenn - Weightlifting commentator)

"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother." - (Ted Walsh -
Horse Racing Commentator)

"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside of him" - (NZ
rugby commentator)

"He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!" -
(Soccer commentator George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's
substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland
in Seville, 1992)

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body" -
(Winston Bennett)

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is
identical" - (Murray Walker)

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father" - (Greg

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them
serious" - (Alan Minter)

"The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball " - (John Francombe)

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing
again" - (Terry Venables)

"I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the
Premiership, but there are none better." - (Ron Atkinson)

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all
over their faces." - (Ron Atkinson)

"Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the
cox of the Oxford crew." - (Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977)

"Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times are
at 1500 metres." - (David Coleman)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the
field." - (Metro Radio)

... and later we will have action from the men's cockless pairs..." - (Sue

"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw." - Ron Atkinson)
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for
even longer." - (David Acfield)

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in
football?" - (Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live)

"There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and
showing his class" - (David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics)

"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that,
before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses
them........... Oh my God, what have I just said?" - (USTV commentator)

Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.swan.ac.uk
awkward at gmx.co.uk

The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery

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