[Jokes] (no subject)

[Robert Grant]

Christmas Cake
Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar

1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the vodka to check quality.  Take a large bowl,check the vodka
again.

To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.  Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar.  Beat again.  At this point it's best to make
sure the vodka is shtill OK.

Try another cup .... just in case.  Turn off the mixerer.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with
asdrewscriver.

Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt.  Or something.
Check the vodka.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.  Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven .

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the
cat.


CHERRY MISTMAS!