[Jokes] real answers

[pklong at btinternet.com]

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders). 

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? 
A: What for? He can't see my license plate. 

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? 
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do." 

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car? 
A: Always wear a condom. 

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? 
A: Your car. 

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident? 
A: Be too shit faced to find your keys. 

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving? 
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster. 

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? 
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully. 

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed? 
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute. 

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? 
A: The color. 

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic? 
A: Heavy psychedelics. 

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? 
A: Carry loaded weapons.