[Jokes] When Reality sets in

[Tim Jenkins]

1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about
 your age and start bragging about it.
 
 2. Don't let anyone tell you you're getting old. Squash their
 toes with your rocker.
 
 3. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line
 for.
 
 4. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want
 people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way
 and some of the roads weren't paved.
 
 5. Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is
 that time when you know when to say yes and when to say no, 
 and when to say WHOOPEE!
 
 6. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
 
 7. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, 
 think of Algebra.
 
 8. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up 
 or leaks.
 
 9. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the 
 top.
 
 10. The golden years are really just metallic years, gold in the 
 tooth, silver in your hair, and lead in the rear.
 
 11. Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at 
 the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.
 
 12. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that 
 it is such a nice change from being young. One must wait 
 until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
 
 13. Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It is more often a 
 succession of jerks.
 
 14. Yeah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
 
 15. Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled, 
 and blind they don't recognize you.
 
 16. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have 
 anything to laugh at when you are old.
 
 AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
 
 17. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget 
 to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper 
 down.
  
________________________________

Do you ever have that feeling that you wanna punch the ceiling,
So you stamp down on the floor, you can't take it anymore,
In your search for absolution there is only one solution,
Kick a pigeon in the park.


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