[Jokes] When Reality sets in
tim at timjenkins.co.uk
Tue Apr 30 09:45:26 BST 2002
1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about
your age and start bragging about it.
2. Don't let anyone tell you you're getting old. Squash their
toes with your rocker.
3. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line
4. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want
people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way
and some of the roads weren't paved.
5. Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is
that time when you know when to say yes and when to say no,
and when to say WHOOPEE!
6. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
7. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra.
8. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up
9. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the
10. The golden years are really just metallic years, gold in the
tooth, silver in your hair, and lead in the rear.
11. Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at
the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.
12. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that
it is such a nice change from being young. One must wait
until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
13. Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It is more often a
succession of jerks.
14. Yeah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
15. Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled,
and blind they don't recognize you.
16. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have
anything to laugh at when you are old.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
17. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget
to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper
Do you ever have that feeling that you wanna punch the ceiling,
So you stamp down on the floor, you can't take it anymore,
In your search for absolution there is only one solution,
Kick a pigeon in the park.
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