[Jokes] NEW WORDS ADDED TO THE 2002 VERSION OF THE DICTIONARY

[Tim Jenkins]

  ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb 
 success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.
 
  BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a 
 deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
 
    SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of 
 noise, craps all over everything, and then leaves.
 
  SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming 
 upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
 
  IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are 
 annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.   
 The O.J. Simpson trials were a prime example.
 
  CHAINSAW CONSULTANT - An outside expert brought in to reduce 
 the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.
 
  CAREER LIMITING MOVE (CLM) - Used among microserfs to describe 
 an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is 
 within earshot is a serious CLM.
 
  ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just 
 above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere 
 are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems 
 they were designed to solve.
 
  FLIGHT RISK - Used to describe employees who are suspected of 
 planning to leave the company or department soon.
 
  404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error 
 message  "404-URL Not Found," meaning that the requested web page 
 could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him...he's 
 404 man!"
 
  GENERICA - Features of the American landscape that are exactly 
 the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip 
 malls, subdivision. Used as in: "We were so lost in Generica, that 
 I forgot what city we were in!"
 
  OHNO-SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize 
 that you've just made a REAL BIG mistake.
 
  PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of 
 an electronic device to get it to work again.
 
  UMFRIEND - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed 
 intimate relationship, as in, "This is Dylan,   my...um...um...friend."
 
  BODY NAZI - Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who 
 look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
 
  CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.
 
  IDEA HAMSTERS - People who always seem to have their idea generators 
 running.
 
  MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch 
 potato.
 
  PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in 
 a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's 
 going on.
 
    SITCOMS - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one 
 of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for "Single 
 Income, Two Children, and an Oppressive Mortgage."
 
  STARTER MARRIAGE - A short-lived, first marriage that ends in divorce 
 with no kids, no property, and no regrets.
 
  STRESS PUPPY - A person who seem's to thrive on being stressed out 
 and whiny.
 
  SWIPED OUT - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless 
 because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
 
  ALPHA GEEK - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person 
 in an office or work group.
 
  G.O.O.D. JOB - a "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people 
 take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit just as 
 soon as they are solvent again.
 
  YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATM's 
 everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, 
 i.e., "We owe $8.00 each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food 
 stamps."
_________________________________________________

Stagering home the headlights throw a shadow up and upon
Friends and Love one that have done no wrong
But no longer mean anything to me


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