[Jokes] Dull Men's Club Meetings

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Tue Feb 12 17:32:03 GMT 2002

Dull Men's Club Meetings - How to Conduct One

Enjoying the Dull Men's Club in cyberspace usually is enough for most
Dull Men - it's a place where they can conveniently share their (dull)
experiences and (tame ) desires. However, some Dull Men like to meet
face-to-face with some of the other guys. We've been getting questions
about how meetings should be held. <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O />

Each group is free of course to hold the meetings any way they want to.
What we list below are only suggestions:   

·        You need two or more Dull Men.   

·        Next you need a room. A basement room is fine. Or, if the room
is above ground, try to find one that doesn't have windows. If it has
windows, hopefully the view is simply of the next building, or of a
rooftop or a parking lot.   

·        Then chairs. At our first meeting, the room had 17 chairs in it.
That worked fine. We've stuck with 17 ever since. If it works, don't fix
it, right? Our chairs are always arranged in the same order, although it
is hard to tell since each chair is exactly like the others.   

·        It sometimes is good to have a topic. You can, of course, simply
sit in the room. Have a silent meeting. Or you may wish to talk about

·        You can talk about how you got through the week - the dull
things you did and the exciting things you avoided.   

·        The members who are accountants can tell you about what's new in
accounting, if anything.   

·        Probably not all of your members are accountants, Some might be
in insurance. There might be some dentists. One group we know of has an
easy-listening music critic as a member.   

·        We've heard about a member who is in insurance brings along some
old expired insurance policies. The policies are passed around the room,
each member reading a clause and then handing on to the next member.   

·        The dentists can bring some x-rays to look at. The
easy-listening music critic can whistle some tunes for you.   

·        You might want some refreshments. Soft drinks, perhaps even
milk, are usually the best. Coffee is usually too strong although some
members find the meetings so dull that they want a little sip of coffee
to keep awake.   

·        Some members will want some mineral water. Usually still water
is the best. Some of your more daring members may want sparkling water.
Some really daring members might enjoy mixing still with sparkling.   

·        Do you need officers? Not really, but if you do have some, we
recommend that all you need are some assistant vice presidents. That can
be the highest office you have.   

·        What not to do? We recommend forbidding flossing. Flossing is
personal. It should be done in private, not in front of other guys. And
of course, bad language should be forbidden. And try not to make fun of
any of the other guys. We realize that some of the dull stuff they talk
about might cause you to laugh, but try to hold it in. Most Dull Men are
very sensitive. They don't like being made fun of.   

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