[Jokes] The Axis Pandemic (Fwd)

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Sun Mar 3 11:29:00 GMT 2002

Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.swan.ac.uk
awkward at gmx.co.uk

The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery


>  Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya,
> China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as
> Evil,"  which they said would be more evil than that stupid
> Korea  axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
> of
> Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for
> starters, a really dumb name.
> "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean
>  leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at
> being  evil... we're the best."
> Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
> although  they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
>  "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An
> Axis  can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President
> Saddam
> Hussein.  "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had
> Germany,
> Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three, and a
> secret  handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
> International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
> within minutes, France surrendered.
> Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in
> what became a game of geopolitical chairs.
> Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil,
> forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of
> Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the
> of Not So
> Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
> With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
> up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of
> Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the
> Olympics;
> Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are
> Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while
> Spain,
> Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Allow
> Sheep to Wear Lipstick. "That's not a threat, really, just something we
> to
> do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
> While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
> fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes.
> Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
> privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

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