[Jokes] Beer Scooters

Richard.Andrews at arm.com Richard.Andrews at arm.com
Thu Mar 7 12:28:09 GMT 2002

How many times have you woken up in the morning
after a hard night of drinking and thought 'How did I
get home?'? As hard as you try, you cannot piece
together your return journey from the bar to your home.
The answer to this puzzle is that you used a beer scooter.

  The beer scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and
leased out to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine.
Bacchus has branched out since the decrease in the worship
of the Roman pantheon and bought a large batch of these
magical devices.

  The beer scooter works in the following fashion:

  The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and
the slurring gland begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or
one of his many sub-contractors detects the pheromone and
sends down a winged beer scooter. The scooter scoops up the
passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a trans-
dimensional  portal.

  It is not cheap to run a beer scooter franchise, so a large
portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment.
This generates the second question after a night out 'How did
I spend so much money?'.

  Beer scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be
responsible for 90% of all UDI (unidentified drinking injuries).

  Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles cause the
scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the
passenger to the wrong bedroom often with horrific consequences.

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