[Jokes] Memorandum

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Thu May 2 21:24:39 BST 2002


Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.swan.ac.uk
awkward at gmx.co.uk

The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 1 May 2002 09:25:51 +0100


From: Bin Laden, Osama

To: Team Mates

Subject: The Cave

Hi guys.  We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really
come together as a group and I love that.  Big thanks to Omar for putting
up the poster that says "There is no 'I' in team" as well as the Garfield
that says "Hang In There, Baby." Very humorous.

However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the
cave.  And frankly I have a few concerns.

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we
should be even more concerned about the carpet dust in our cave.  We want
to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we
need to sweep the cave daily, I've done my bit on the
cleaning roster......have you? I've posted a sign up sheet near the cave
reception area (next to the halal toaster).

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to
scare most of the world population, okay.  That means that while we're
taping, please do not ride your scooters in the background or keep doing
the 'Wassup' thing.  Just while we're taping. Thanks.

Third: Food.  I bought a box of cheese slices recently, clearly wrote
"Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my slices
were gone.  Consideration.  That's all I'm saying.

Fourth: I'm not against team chanting and all that, but, we must distance
ourselves from the Westerner's bat and ball game. Please do not chant "Ossy
Ossy Ossy Oi Oi Oi" everytime I ride past on the donkey.  Thanks.

Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying
to infiltrate our ranks.  I want to set up patrols to look for them.  First
patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar, and Dave.

Love you lots, Group Hug.


PS - I'm sick of having Osama's Bed Linen scribbled on my bed sheets - Cut
it out Abdul, it's not funny anymore!

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