[Jokes] AIRLINE ANNOUNCEMENTS

[McKenna, Chris (RDSSW)]

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight
"safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 

 
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On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the
pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and 
will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to 
enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." 

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On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your 
belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's 
something we'd like to have." 

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out
of this airplane" 

 
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"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed
giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." 

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As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone 
voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" 

 
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 After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a 
flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care
when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that,
sure as hell everything has shifted." 

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