[Jokes] FWD: Fw: Bad day (fwd)

Steve Hill steve at navaho.co.uk
Thu Apr 24 15:10:43 BST 2003

> Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy.
> Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
> performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
> E-mail he
> sent to his sister. She then sent it to "Laughline," who was sponsoring
> a
> "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won:
> Hi Sue,
> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
> bad
> day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
> thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not
> so
> bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
> bore
> you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at
> the
> bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This
> time of
> year the water is quite cool, so what we do to keep warm is this: We
> have a
> diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of sh*t sucks
> the
> water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then
> pumps
> it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air
> hose.
> Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times
> with
> no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working is,
> I
> take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
> whole
> suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was
> going
> well until all of a sudden, my arse started to itch. So, of course, I
> scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ar*e
> started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
> done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had
> sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have
> any
> hair on my back,  the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack
> of
> my ar*e was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an
> itch, I
> was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ar*e. I informed the dive
> supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His  instructions were
> unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all
> laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
> instructed
> to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes
> before
> I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
> arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I
> climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down
> his
> face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ar*e as soon
> as I
> get in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't sh*t for
> 2
> days because my ar*ehole was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a
> bad
> day at work, think about  how much worse it would be if you had a
> jellyfish
> shoved up your rear end...

More information about the Jokes mailing list