Richard.Bytheway at bede.co.uk
Mon Feb 10 16:07:52 GMT 2003
A young woman, down on her luck, decided to end it all one night by casting herself into the cold, dark waters off Newcastle quayside. As she stood on the edge of the dock, pondering the infinite, a young sailor noticed her as he strolled by.
"You're not thinking of jumping, are you?" he asked.
"Yes, I am." replied the sobbing girl.
Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her back from the edge.
"Look, nothing's worth that. I'll tell you what, I'm sailing off for America tomorrow. Why don't you stow away on board and start a new life over there? I'll set you up in one of the lifeboats on the deck, bring you food and water every night, and I'll look after you if you look after me."
The girl, having no better prospects, agreed and the sailor snuck her on board that night.
For the next 3 weeks the sailor would come to her lifeboat every night, bringing food and water, and making love to her until dawn.
Then, during the fourth week, the captain was performing a routine inspection of the ship and it's lifeboats. He peeled back the cover to find the startled young blonde woman, and demanded an explanation.
The young woman came clean, "I've stowed away to get to America. One of the sailors is helping me out, he set me up in here and brings me food and water every night ... and he's screwing me."
The puzzled captain stared at her for a moment before a grin cracked his face and he replied. "He certainly is, this is the Shields Ferry!"
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