[Jokes] Idiots at work

[McKenna, Chris (RDSSW)]

-----Original Message-----
From: Webmaster
Sent: 24 June 2003 05:58
Subject: Idiots at work

IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair
people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I
asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman
asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I
didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working.
He also requested that we report future outages by email.
(Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed
I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me
that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When
I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I
had just signed on the
receipt.
So I signed the credit card in front of her.
She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the
receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she
didn't want them to cross there anymore.
I could swear I've recently been with some of these people...

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To
which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She
smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was
crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people
when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind
people doing driving?"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the
company due to "downsizing," our manager commented
cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was
spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic
working feverishy to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it
was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he
replied, "I know - I already got that side."

Now don't you feel better?




Chris McKenna
Cartographer,
Somerset & Dorset Team
RDS South West (Bristol)
tel: 0117 959 1000 ext. 3344
gtn: 1372 3344