[Jokes] Idiots at work

McKenna, Chris (RDSSW) chris.mckenna at defra.gsi.gov.uk
Tue Jun 24 09:08:31 BST 2003

-----Original Message-----
From: Webmaster
Sent: 24 June 2003 05:58
Subject: Idiots at work

This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair
people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I
asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman
asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I
didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working.
He also requested that we report future outages by email.
(Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed
I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me
that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When
I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I
had just signed on the
So I signed the credit card in front of her.
She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the
receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she
didn't want them to cross there anymore.
I could swear I've recently been with some of these people...

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To
which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She
smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was
crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people
when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind
people doing driving?"

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the
company due to "downsizing," our manager commented
cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic
working feverishy to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it
was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he
replied, "I know - I already got that side."

Now don't you feel better?

Chris McKenna
Somerset & Dorset Team
RDS South West (Bristol)
tel: 0117 959 1000 ext. 3344
gtn: 1372 3344

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