[Jokes] FW: [TTFF] On the back to skool theme ...

McKenna, Chris (RDSSW) chris.mckenna at defra.gsi.gov.uk
Tue Sep 9 10:27:56 BST 2003

-----Original Message-----
From: E W Morgan 
Sent: 08 September 2003 22:20
Subject: [TTFF] On the back to skool theme ...

As an ex-teacher (25years) I can relate tho this, but I suppose that you
don`t have to be a teacher to realise the poignancy behind it all!!

After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching
prospect said: "Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into
that room with all those kids, and fill their every waking moment with a
love for learning. And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their
ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse
and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits.

You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check
their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self

You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair
play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply
for a job. I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment,
recognize signs of antisocial behavior, offer advice, write letters of
recommendation for student employmet and scholarships, encourage respect for
the cultural diversity of others, and oh, make sure that I give the girls in
my class fifty percent of my attention.

My contract requires me to work on my own time after school, evenings and
weekends grading papers. Also, I must spend my summer vacation at my own
expense working toward advance certification and a Masters degree.

And on my own time you want me to attend committee and faculty meetings, PTA
meetings, and participate in staff development training.

I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life, such that my very presence
will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of authority. And I
am to pledge allegiance to family values and this current administration.
You want me to incorporate technology into the learning experience, monitor
web sites, and relate personally with each student. 

That includes deciding who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable to
commit a crime in school. I am to make sure all students pass the mandatory
state exams, even those who don't come to school regularly or complete any
of their assignments.

Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get an equal
education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap.

And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone,
newsletter and report card.

All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books,
a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my
family for food stamps! You want me to do all of this and yet you expect me.
... ..

 . . . . NOT TO PRAY?

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