[Jokes] Bob Monkhouse's guide to...
rhys at sucs.org
Wed Jan 21 10:59:37 GMT 2004
Shamelessly pinched from Creamguide:
Bob's guide to...
"I said to my tax inspector, 'Have a heart!' He took it."
"I never dance on an empty stomach unless it's someone I don't like"
"Our local pub's full of artists - but none of them can paint."
"When it comes to solving unemployment the Government just won't take *now*
for an answer."
"Don't bite the hand that feeds you. There's more meat further up."
"If it's true that history repeats itself, where are those 1950 prices?"
"If you must take the law into your own hands, strangle a solicitor."
"I went to a Gay Nineties Party once. All the men were gay, and all the
women were ninety."
"I just read that Ronnie Corbett had his pocket picked. Now that's what I
call stooping low."
"Speaking on radio for money is like joining a monastery to meet girls."
The New Year:
"Me and the Old Year usually pass out at the same time."
"By the time you find greener pastures, you're too old to climb the fence."
"We all have to go some time. I usually go during the commercials."
Bob Monkhouse, 1928-2003
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