[Jokes] humble pie

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Sat Jul 31 23:18:17 BST 2004

>From a California paper:

"We apologize for referring to Sgt Brown as a member of the defective 
branch of the police force. He is, of course, a member of the detective 
branch of the police farce." 


IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts 
who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: 
on page 8, line 7, the words 'state zip code' should have read 'pull rip 


It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation 
Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.


>From a California bar association's newsletter : Correction - the 
following typo appeared in our last bulletin: 'Lunch will be gin at 12:15 
p.m'. Please correct to read '12 noon'. 


The marriage of Miss Freda van Amburg and Willie Branton, which was 
announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to 


Yesterday we mistakenly reported that a talk was given by a bottle-scared 
hero. We apologize for the error. We obviously meant that the talk was 
given by a battle-scarred hero.


Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed sheep on front 
lawn of the White House.' I'm sorry that typesetting inadvertently left 
out the word 'sheep'."


The following is an ad from a real-life newspaper which appeared four days 
in a row -- the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's 


For sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 
7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.


We regret having erred in R.D. Jones' ad yesterday. It should have read, 
"One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, 
who lives with him after 7 P.M."


R.D. Jones has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone 
calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad 
stands correct as follows: "For sale. R.D. Jones has one sewing machine 
for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who 
loves with him."


I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 
948-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on 
with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper but she quit!


"In our magazine, The Editor, page 3, February 11, we referred to the Six 
nations rugby [union] tournament in which we said 'Wales thrashed France' 
- a possibly partisan way of interpreting the actual result: Wales 3, 
France 36."

>From The Guardian, 2 Feb 1999:

"The absence of corrections yesterday was due to a technical hitch rather
than any sudden onset of accuracy."

Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.org

The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery

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