[Jokes] Classic Signs

[Chris McKenna]

-- 
Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.org
www.sucs.org/~cmckenna


The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery


---------- Forwarded message ----------

SIGNS

On a Septic Tank Truck in  Oregon: Yesterday's Meals on  Wheels

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On a Septic Tank Truck  sign: "We're #1  in the #2 business."

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Sign over a Gynecologist's  Office: "Dr.  Jones, at your cervix."

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At a Proctologist's  door "To  expedite your visit please back in."

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On a Plumber's  truck: "We  repair what your husband fixed."

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On a Plumber's  truck: "Don't  sleep with a drip. Call your 
plumber.."

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Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes  one weak."

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At a Tire Shop in  Milwaukee: "Invite  us to your next blowout."

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On a Plastic Surgeon's Office  door: "Hello.  Can we pick your 
nose?"

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At a Towing  company: "We don't  charge an arm and a leg. We want 
tows."

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On an Electrician's  truck: "Let us remove your  shorts."

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In a Nonsmoking  Area: "If we  see smoke, we will assume you are on 
fire and take appropriate action."

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On a Maternity Room  door: "Push.  Push. Push."

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At an Optometrist's  Office "If you  don't see what you're looking 
for, you've come to the right place"

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On a Taxidermist's  window: "We  really know our stuff."

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At the Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels"

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On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is  expensive."

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At a Car  Dealership: "The best  way to get back on your feet - miss 
a car payment."

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Outside a Muffler  Shop: "No  appointment necessary. We hear you 
coming."

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In a Veterinarian's waiting  room: "Be back  in 5 minutes. Sit! 
Stay!"

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At the Electric  Company: "We would  be delighted if you send in 
your payment. However,  if you don't, you will be."

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In a Restaurant  window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on 
in and get fed up."

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In the front yard of a Funeral  Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

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At a Propane Filling  Station, "Thank  heaven for little grills."

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And don't  forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best  place 
in town to take a leak."