[Jokes] The Attorneys (fwd)

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Tue Oct 26 18:43:09 BST 2004

Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.org

The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery

---------- Forwarded message ----------


Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't 
prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small town 
prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, 
elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. 
Jones, do you know me?"

She responded: "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you 
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big 
disappointment to me.  You lie, you cheat on your wife, you 
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think 
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never 
will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I 
know you."

The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed 
across the room and asked: "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense 

She again replied: "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he 
was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking 
problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his 
law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention 
he cheated on hiswife with three different women. One of them was 
your wife. Yes, I know him."

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very 
quiet voice, said: "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows 
me, I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt." 

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