[Jokes] Humour . . . (fwd)

[Chris McKenna]

---------- Forwarded message ----------
On a business trip, my father approached a security  check
point at the airport.  The National Guard shift was  rotating,
and a guard in full uniform was in line in front of  him. As
with everybody else, the soldier was ordered to go  through
the metal detector.

Before doing so,  he handed his M-16 rifle to the security
personnel along with  other items such as handcuffs and a
flashlight. Still, the alarm  sounded when he walked through.

Further inspection revealed  a little Swiss army knife inside
one of his pockets. "Sorry Sir,  but this item is prohibited,"
security said to the  soldier.  Taking the knife away, the
airport worker handed  him back the M-16.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll  Your Eyes ---------------*

There was this software engineer  who was in the habit of
getting home quite late. One time, he  came home at 2:30
a.m. with a torn shirt, lipstick on his  collar, hair messed
up, and generally looking like a wreck. His  wife caught him
coming in the door and demanded to know why he  came home so
late.

He replied, "Well, after  I left work today, a few friends
and I went out to the bar for a  few drinks. We met up with
some rather good-looking young women  and decided to have a
few more drinks. Things just got a little  out of hand, as
you can well see. I sobered up enough to note  how late it
was, so I rushed home."

She  screamed, "You liar! You were in the lab again, weren't
you?"