[Jokes] Logger logic (fwd)

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Wed Dec 14 19:27:32 GMT 2005

---------- Forwarded message ----------

A Newfie decides to travel across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean. When he
gets to Nanaimo, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But
first he must find a job. He walks into the MacMillan-Bloedel office and
fills out an application as an "Experienced logger." It's his lucky day.
They just happen to be looking for someone.

But first, the bush foreman takes him for a ride in the bush in the company
pickup truck to see how much he knows. The foreman stops the truck on the
side of the road and points at a tree. "See that tree over there? I want you
to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it

The Newfie promptly answers, "It's a Sitka Spruce and contains 383 board
feet of lumber." The foreman is impressed. He puts the truck in motion and
stops again about a mile down the road. He points at another tree through
the passenger door window. He asks the same question.

This time, it's a bigger tree of a different class. "It's a Douglas Fir it
has 690 board feet." says the Newfie. Now the foreman is really impressed.
The Newfie has answered quickly and got the answers right without even using
a calculator! One more test.

They drive a little farther down the road, and the foreman stops again. This
time, he points across the road through his driver side window. "And what
about that one?"

Before the foreman finishes pointing, the Newfie says, "A Yellow cedar, 242
board feet."

The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office. He's a
little pissed off because he thinks that the Newfie is smarter than he. As
they near the office, the foreman stops the truck, and asks the Newfie to
step outside. He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, "See that tree
over there. I want you to mark an X on the front of that tree. The foreman
thinks to himself, "Idiot! How does he know which is the front of the tree?

When the Newfie reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while
looking at the ground. He then reaches up and places a white X on the trunk.
He runs back to the foreman and hands him the chalk.

"That is the front of the tree," the Newfie states, cocksure. The foreman
laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "How in the hell do you know
that's the front of the tree?" The Newfie looks down at his feet, while
moving the toe of his left boot clockwise in the gravel, replies, "Cuz
someone took a crap behind it."

He got the job !

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