[Jokes] Best HEADLINES OF 2004 (fwd)

[Chris McKenna]

--forwarded message---

THE YEAR'S BEST ACTUAL LIBERAL PRESS HEADLINES OF 2004
(With a conservative reader's comments)

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]


Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]

Miners Refuse to  Work after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]

Enfield  (London) Couple Slain;  Police Suspect  Homicide
[they may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group!
[weren't they fat enough?]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken!]

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
[That was really giving of himself!]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is...

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds  Dead
[nuff said!]