[Jokes] Why athletes don't have regular jobs. (fwd)

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Tue Jan 18 19:57:20 GMT 2005

Chicago Cubs outfielder  Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem 
kids to do what I do,  to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate  me."
New Orleans Saint RB  George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I 
want to rush for 1,000 or  1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
And, upon hearing Joe  Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother 
to win the Super Bowl,"  Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run 
over Joe's Mom,  too."
Torrin  Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his  coach, John Jenkins: 
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear  earrings."  
Football commentator and  former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in 
football should be called a  genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Senior basketball player  at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to  
graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is  beautiful)
Bill Peterson,  a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up  
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three,  then  line up in 
a circle."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva  on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don 
King: "Why would anyone  expect him to come out smarter? He went to = prison for 
three years,  not Princeton."  
Stu Grimson, Chicago  Blackhawk's left wing, explaining why he keeps a color 
photo of himself  above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my 
name, I can  still find my clothes."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing  trainer, on the Spartan training regime of 
heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a  guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning 
regardless of what time it  is."
Chuck  Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach  
Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a  
baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder  if his 
IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
Frank Layden, Utah  Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, 
what is it with you?  Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know 
and I don't  care.'"
Shelby Metcalf,  basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a 
player who received  four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending 
too much time on one  subject."
Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by  Bob Costas 
why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips  responded: "Because she 
is too ugly to kiss good-by."

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