[Jokes] Why athletes don't have regular jobs. (fwd)

[Chris McKenna]

Chicago Cubs outfielder  Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem 
kids to do what I do,  to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate  me."
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New Orleans Saint RB  George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I 
want to rush for 1,000 or  1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
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And, upon hearing Joe  Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother 
to win the Super Bowl,"  Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run 
over Joe's Mom,  too."
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Torrin  Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his  coach, John Jenkins: 
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear  earrings."  
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Football commentator and  former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in 
football should be called a  genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
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Senior basketball player  at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to  
graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is  beautiful)
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Bill Peterson,  a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up  
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three,  then  line up in 
a circle."
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Boxing promoter Dan Duva  on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don 
King: "Why would anyone  expect him to come out smarter? He went to = prison for 
three years,  not Princeton."  
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Stu Grimson, Chicago  Blackhawk's left wing, explaining why he keeps a color 
photo of himself  above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my 
name, I can  still find my clothes."
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Lou Duva, veteran boxing  trainer, on the Spartan training regime of 
heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a  guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning 
regardless of what time it  is."
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Chuck  Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach  
Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a  
baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder  if his 
IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
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Frank Layden, Utah  Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, 
what is it with you?  Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know 
and I don't  care.'"
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Shelby Metcalf,  basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a 
player who received  four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending 
too much time on one  subject."
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Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by  Bob Costas 
why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips  responded: "Because she 
is too ugly to kiss good-by."