[Jokes] 5 smart ass answers of 2005(fwd)

[Chris McKenna]

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Smart Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat.... she said, "Sir, I
need to see your ticket not your stub."

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Smart Ass Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're
dead."

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Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally
stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

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Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads,
"Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and
he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a
police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck
driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck
driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

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AND NOW........ FOR ........... THE..........#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
2005.......................

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I
won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider
a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your
immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass
guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say
if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When
silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking
her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with
your other hand."