[Jokes] alert levels

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Thu Sep 15 23:21:09 BST 2005

Following the recent events in London, the French government announced 
yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide'. 
The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'. 
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white 
flag factory, effectively paralyzing their military.

Updates from around Europe

The Italians have increased their alert level from "shouting excitedly" to 
"elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective 
combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans have also increased their alert state from "disdainful 
arrogance" to "full dress-uniform and marching songs". They have two 
higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from 
"isolationism" to "find somewhere ripe for regime change". Their remaining 
higher alert states are "take on the world" and "ask the British for 

Finally here in UK we've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make 
another cup of tea". Our higher levels are "chin-up and remain cheerful" 
and "win".

Chris 'Awkward' McKenna

cmckenna at sucs.org

The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes,
but with the heart

Antoine de Saint Exupery

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