[Jokes] Children in church (fwd)

[Chris McKenna]

A little boy was in a relative's  wedding.

As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop,  and turn to 
the crowd.

While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up  like claws and roar.

So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all  the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from  laughing so hard by the 
time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he  was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the 
Ring  Bear."  
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One Sunday  in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the 
morning worship  hour.

The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the  pew but 
were losing the battle.
Finally, the father picked the little fellow  up and walked sternly up the 
aisle on his way out.

Just before reaching  the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly 
to the congregation, "Pray  for me! Pray for me!"

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One  particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we 
forgive  those who put trash in our baskets." 

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A little  boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better 
boy, don't worry  about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
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A Sunday  School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way 
to church  service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little  girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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A little  boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking 
at the old  pages as he turned them.
Then something fell out of the Bible.

He  picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree 
that has  been pressed in between the pages.

"Mama,  look what I found," the  boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With  astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "It's Adam's  suit".
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The preacher was wired for  sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he 
moved briskly about the  platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side,  getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping 
before jerking it  again.

After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew  leaned 
toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt  us?"
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Six-year  old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting 
together in  church.

Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.

Finally, his big  sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out 
loud in  church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to  the back of the church and said, "See those two men 
standing by the door?  They're hushers."
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My grandson was visiting one  day when he asked , "Grandma, do you know how 
you and God are alike?"
I  mentally polished my halo, while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"

"You're  both old," he replied.
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A ten-year  old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite 
knowledgeable  about the Bible.

Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by asking,  "Which Virgin was the 
mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James  Virgin?"
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A  Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.

They were ready to  discuss the last one.

The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it  was.
Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the  
covers off the neighbor's wife."