[Jokes] Murder At Safeway (fwd)

Chris McKenna cmckenna at sucs.org
Tue May 15 19:29:28 BST 2007

---------- Forwarded message ----------

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young 
husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance 
policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and arranging to 
have her killed. A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious 
underworld figure who went by the name of "Artie."

Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a 
spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but 
that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's 
insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid something up front. The man 
opened up his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested 

Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the 
dollar as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie 
followed the man's wife to the local Safeway grocery store. There, he 
surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her 
with his gloved hands.

As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the 
floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto 
the scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice 
but to strangle the produce manager as well.

Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by hidden cameras 
and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the 
police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the 
sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless 

And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared:


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