[Jokes] Shopping!

[Clare McKenna]

  Things to do at the shops while the other half is
 taking their time:
 
 1.   Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in
 peoples trolleys when they aren't  looking.
 2.   Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute
 intervals.
 3.   Make a trail of apple juice on the floor to the
 rest rooms.
 4.   Walk up to a store employee and tell him/her in
 an official tone, I think we have a  code 3 in house
 wares,' and see what happens.
 5.   Put M&M's on lay-by.
 6.   Move 'CAUTION WET FLOOR' signs to carpet areas.
 7.   Set up a tent in the sports section; tell
 others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows
 from the bedding department.
 8.   When someone asks if they can help you, begin
 to cry and ask Why won't you people leave me alone?'
 9.   Look right into the security camera and use it
 as a mirror while you pick your nose.
 10.  While handling guns in the sports section, ask
 the clerk if the gun is sold with anti depressant
 prescriptions ?
 11.  Dart around suspiciously while humming the
 theme from 'Mission Impossible'.
 12.  In the auto department practice your Madonna
 look using different size funnels.
 13.  Hide in the clothing rack and when people
 browse through say PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'
 14.  When an announcement comes over the loud
 speaker assume the fetal position and scream 'NO!
 NO! It's those voices again'.
 15.  Go into the fitting room and yell real
 loud....'Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!

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