[Jokes] FW: desert island
McKenna, Chris (RDSSW)
chris.mckenna at defra.gsi.gov.uk
Fri Dec 6 11:54:19 GMT 2002
An ambitious engineer finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself
on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, until
the boat sank. The man found himself on the shore of an island with no
other people, no supplies ... nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks
her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replied, "I rowed
from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with
you." "Oh, this?" replied the woman. "I made the row boat out of raw
material I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree
branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came
from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, where did you get the tools?" "Oh, that was
no problem," replied the woman. "On The south side of the island, there is a
very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a
certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I
used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is
stunned. "Let's row over to my place, " she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the
man looks on to shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a
stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While
the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can
only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says
casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you
like to have a drink?" "No, no thank you," says he, still dazed. "Can't take
any more coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I
have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down
on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you
like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom
cabinet." No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed
to a Hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?" When he returns, she greets
him wearing nothing but vines-strategically positioned and smelling faintly
of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins, suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been
out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm
sure you really feel like doing right now, Something you've been longing for
all these months? You know..." She stares into his eyes. He can't believe
what he's hearing "You mean...?", he swallows excitedly and his whole body
pulsates with excitement, "..... I can check my e-mail from here?"
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